


Selfish

by otomekaidii



Series: Love for Levi [7]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Feels, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-neutral Reader, Levi cries a lot, M/M, Mammon is mentioned only briefly, Men Crying, Multi, Other, Polyamorous Reader, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, this really is all about Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otomekaidii/pseuds/otomekaidii
Summary: You head to Levi’s room to spend the day with him, only to find him upset and in need of some comfort.[formerly titled “Relationships”]
Relationships: Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Leviathan/Reader/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Series: Love for Levi [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020585
Comments: 7
Kudos: 107





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Mammon already got his “no point to this but cuddles” fic, so I figured it was Levi’s turn. Hope you enjoy snuggling Levi and convincing him how loved he is. ❤️

It had been 6 months since you had been summoned to the Devildom for an exchange program that you only vaguely remember applying for. You had some trouble adjusting at first, but after some ups and downs you had finally gotten into the swing of things, and formed many close relationships with the brothers you were living with.

Two brothers in particular caught your eye more than all the others, and after a lot of back and forth, bargaining and negotiations, you had managed to form a healthy relationship with both Levi and Mammon. One would think that being caught between Envy and Greed would be an unpleasant thing, but your experience had been anything but. In fact, the pair complimented each other quite well, and you were lavished in attention and affection. All you had to do was make sure to split your time up evenly between them, and yourself of course, (there were literal timers involved here, and a very detailed color coded calendar), and everyone was happy.

Today was a “Levi day”, so you headed towards his room first thing in the morning to drag him down to breakfast with you, not wanting to miss a moment with your favorite otaku. You knocked on his door to give him a heads up, but didn’t wait for a response since you had done this so many times before.

When you entered, you found Levi curled up in his tub, apparently still fast asleep. You decided to join him for some early morning cuddles, slipping in beside him and spooning him from behind. You pressed a kiss to the back of his neck once you got settled, causing him to stir.

“Good morning, sleepy head.”

Levi didn’t respond, and instead pulled his blanket tighter around himself, so you kissed him again with a smile on your lips expecting him to roll over any moment, beet red, and ask you to stop doing that “so early in the morning.”

Except he didn’t. 

He only burrowed deeper into his blanket, and you began to suspect something might be wrong. 

“Levi?”, you called to him, “Hey, are you ok?”

You sat up a little, propping yourself up on your elbow, and gently stroked his face with the back of your other hand. It was then you realized that his cheeks were in fact damp, and that he had been crying, alone, in the dark, for who knows how long. The thought made your heart ache, so you carefully slid over him, to his other side, so that you would be facing each other.

You didn’t say a word as you wrapped him up in a tight hug, and he didn’t bother asking you any questions either and simply snuggled into your chest as you held him. You knew he sometimes had days like this where he just woke up with his thoughts so dark he could hardly crawl out of bed, but it had been awhile since the last time it had happened and you had started to hope that maybe he was past that. 

After a while of laying there like that, Levi finally started to move and wiggled his arms free so that he could return your hug and pull you even closer. The gesture brought a smile to your face and you kissed the top of his head in return. 

He was so happy to have you close to him, and so thankful that you seemed to just understand and hadn’t peppered him with questions. He felt disappointed in himself for allowing himself to get so upset, but he wasn’t sure how to verbalize that yet. He just knew that there had to be something wrong with him for feeling so hopeless. You tried so hard to make him happy and to make sure he felt loved...but sometimes he just...didn’t. 

Sometimes all he could think about was how useless he was, how much better everyone else was at pretty much everything, how little the few “good qualities” he had actually mattered, and how much happier you could be if he was out of the picture. Sometimes the doubts grew so great that he even wondered if perhaps your whole relationship was a farce, and you were just humoring him because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“You ready to talk?”, you asked, giving Levi a small squeeze of reassurance. 

“Just feeling off, I guess,” he mumbled into your chest.

“That’s ok. You can feel off sometimes,” you said, kissing the top of his head. 

“...is it really?” 

“Is what really?” 

“Okay to feel off sometimes?”

“Yeah it is. No one is happy all the time.”

Levi thought about that for a moment, before deciding to tell you a bit about what was on his mind.

“...sometimes...I get worried that...that you’re just putting up with me…”

“...you mean you think I don’t love you?”, you asked, pulling back a little, trying to get a look at his face. But Levi only pulled you closer and ducked his head down further.

“...yeah…”

“Aww, sweetheart…” You rested your cheek on top of his head, as you began to run your fingers through his hair. You weren’t sure how to respond to that. Your knee jerk reaction was to simply tell him that wasn’t true, but you didn’t think that would do much on its own to comfort him. You needed something that he couldn’t reason away, that would stick with him and give him something to think about. 

“You know how Mammon gets when he’s pouting, right?” 

Levi didn’t speak, but you heard him snort, which you interpreted as a response. 

“Do you think I’d willingly sign up to listen to that every time I make plans with you, if I didn’t like you…?” 

You paused for a moment to let that idea sink in, knowing that he wouldn’t deny how annoying Mammon could be when he didn’t get his way. 

“And you know how you get when you don’t get your way either…”

You felt him flinch in your arms, but kept going…

“Or when you get upset that you weren’t chosen in a raffle…

Or how clingy you get when someone gets a little too close to me when we are on a date…”, you said, continuing to run your fingers through his hair.

“Or how obsessive you can be when you discover a new interest…

Or how needy you get after I’ve been away for awhile…

Or…”

“ALRIGHT ALREADY! I GET IT! I'M A PAIN TO DEAL WITH!”, Levi snapped at you, pulling away from you so he could glare at you. As strong as his doubts were sometimes, he didn’t expect you to make him sit and listen to an exhaustive list of all his own flaws. 

But when he saw your face, and the soft smile you gave him, he was utterly confused. Why were you looking at him like that, with so much love in your eyes?

You gently cupped Levi’s cheek with your free hand, stroking him with your thumb, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead. You then looked him in the eyes once more, tilting his face ever so slightly with your hand to keep him from turning away so that he’d have to look at you too...

“So you know all that...all those things that you think are so undesirable about yourself...all the flaws you think you have...you know all that, and you still think that I am spending time with you even though I don’t love you?” 

You watched as Levi’s eyes so full of doubt, and anger, and self hatred a moment ago, started to clear with realization. He either had to admit he was wrong for thinking you stuck with him just to be “nice”, or he’d have to admit that he was actually good, pleasant company to have around, and you wouldn’t have any reason to fake a relationship with him in the first place. 

“I love you, Levi. I really, really do. I love every little thing about you, even the things you don’t like, and I enjoy every minute I spend with you. And I promise you if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. You might think I’m a wonderful person, but I’m really not. I’m an incredibly selfish person that wants to fill my free time doing the things I enjoy, with the people I love.”

Levi closed his eyes and nodded his head. He really couldn’t argue with that. Who would spend so much time with a yucky, otaku like himself if they didn’t like him at least a little bit? He felt you kiss him on the cheek before wrapping him up in a tight hug once more, and he clung to you, burying his face in your neck, like you were the only thing keeping him afloat. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was really nervous about posting this because I’m a big fan of taking negative thoughts and turning them into positive things (ie. You might hate this thing about yourself, but your lover adores it), and I was worried my feelings wouldn’t get across. 
> 
> So I hope I was able to convey just how much I love this little snek boy, even the things he finds entirely unlovable.


End file.
